Watford and walks in the wood

My dear Wilbur,

How delightful to hear from you so soon, particularly since I see that your travels have taken you to darkest Zananialand! I had to laugh on reading of you catching sight of Rangociferous Blerisinia, as I remember how Rodders and his little paki sidekick - Gilpmed, was it? - used to tease you as to its very existence. I have hastily sketched a verisimilitude and thrombatted it to the two old letchers, where they have taken residence at Tiddlesbury-Under-Compton (aye indeed, the place of the recent Nadwort sighting! - so you can imagine what those two sceptics are about there, eh?!) I reminded them on your behalf that they now owe you a fine roast comprising Rodders' right buttock cheek in a redcurrant flambe, a gold-plated cleat for our uncle's clipper, and a woodland thrush in a mangrove tree for Mother's aviary.

I was also gratified to hear that your prodigious appetite has returned after your malaise last year, and await receipt of the Lumi with barely contained excitement. You more than anyone knows how my palate delights at adventures among the rare and unlikely! Speaking of which, I took you up on your suggestion to visit the Olde Lyme Inn, where they do indeed serve a fine claret with, I dare say, some rather unusual properties. On first partaking of the beverage, I was overcome by an extremely favourable frame of mind, where all and sundry with whom I conversed seemed to be the most excellent of fellows, full of wit and tales of rare adventure. This is of course is not unusual in the consuming of fine wines, which serve to sharpen the perceptions in a most pleasurable way and lend favour to even the dullest of discourse. What was unusual was that on waking the following morning I came to the realisation that it was damned unusual for there to be so many souls coming and going from such a quiet country establishment - and that indeed I do not even know if there are so many inhabitants in the whole of Claptrap as I had encountered the night before! And moreover on further contemplation, it occurred to me that not a one of those faces held any familiarity to me, though I have resided here for some three months now.

Intriguing to say the least, what, old chap?

I have many times since then wished that you were here so that I had somebody with whom, so to speak, to compare notes. However as you are regrettably so far distant at this time, I have instead sent for our cousin Watford, who though rather inclined toward flatulence has a voracious appetite for the unsual. (I have in self defense put him up in the Faire Maiden a short walk across the village - yes, I can hear your guffaw from here!) I do look forward to seeing old Watnot, and shall of course give him your best - ah to remember the high jinks we got up to as boys, in and out of our fort in the hedge at the bottom of Snitty Flintbottom's garden! Ah cousin, what days, what days!

But ha! I have methinks tormented you for long enough, what? I am sure you are in all eagerness to hear of my recent experimentations. As you may have surmised by dint of our long acquaintance, I heartily pray that, based on my delicate enquiries within the darkened halls of Number 5 Alder Crescent the contraption furnished by the mysterious Mr Burlap is one which will indeed aid us in our endeavours to visually perceive that which we have so long sought. My experimentations with the item are at their early stages, (I suspect old Watnot with his skill for tinkering will be of significant assistance) and at this point I cannot report any significant success. I did however have a blasted strange experience this Sunday past, which may or may not have had to do with the item. It was an extraordinarily fine day and I decided to take the contraption out with me on a Sunday meander. Close outwith the village is an extremely pleasant wood, where the trees let through the sunlight in a most restorative fashion, and within the wood is a glade that dips toward a fortifying natural spring. It was here that I stopped to take repast and examine our contraption, for reasons that you are no doubt aware. I have in some small ways found my way about the item, however I must confess it largely confounds me. In any matter, I had partaken of the extremely fine repast habitually provided by one Mrs Wolport, the fine cook who runs the establishment some few steps from my rooms, and found myself drifting pleasantly into slumber in the early afternoon sunlight. It seemed but moments that I drifted thus between sleeping and wakefulness, when I know not what startled my eyes open. Imagine my surprise then when my startled eyes revealed that dusk had fallen, the sun was gone, and I was quite quite cold! I got up hastily and gathered up my belongings and turned to head back to my lodgings - only to discover that I knew not where I was! I took considerable stumbling and a rather nasty fall to discover that I had somehow ended up on the very opposite side of the glade to where I had begun! Of course there can be no other explanation than the one that is in both our minds cousin! A most intriguing and exhilirating turn of events as I am sure you can imagine.

Ah, I believe I perceive the fine scents of my supper drifting to me up the stair and expect Mrs Wolport's firm yet feminine tap on the door posthaste.

And thus I leave you, ever fondly and with every wish for your continuing robust good health and success in your undertakings.

As ever your friend and confidante,
Cedric