Monday, 8 April 2013

In confidence, a request

To Roderick Duskford-Robbins Esq.

RDR, it has been requested by the ladies of the Temperance Committee that I inform you that they shall no longer countenance your increasingly disruptive mien.

I must agree with them that a number of your recent outbursts have outstretched the Club’s generally libertarian, free thinking limits.

It is not acceptable for you to throw an entire crab across the room as you did at the Yule feast, regardless of whether or not the buerre blanc is to your taste. Moreover, your appearance at the Finch-Newtley Lupercalia festivity with the – albeit charming – dancing troupe exhausted the definition of +1 (although from one man to another, having ‘+1’ embroidered across their… assets… was inspired).

I can tell you that the ladies confessed that they were still hesitant to approach you at that point, however the ferret incident during last month’s Ostara wildflower gathering expedition have pushed them beyond the limits of their usually tolerant nature. The sight of our Persephones and Demeters fleeing before a charging horde of ferrets is not something any of us will quickly forget.

Do not take their threats lightly old man! After your most recent high jinx, most of the committee members are threatening the cut direct. I quote Lady Augusta Motts Finchley: ‘If he thinks we will continue to accept this behaviour, he is off his onion!’

And as you know, old man, the preservation of harmony is a paramount concern for the Club. Only in an atmosphere of accepting geniality will our intellects thrive! It is thus in friendship that I strongly encourage you to comport yourself with the same measure of manners as your ever exemplary companion, Gilpmed.

I daresay that you should consider this your first warning.


From the desk of Nigel Rutherford, Viscount Templemore
Head of the Festivities Committee
Order of the Splendid Chalice (London Chapter)

Friday, 1 March 2013

Volunteers step up!

Greetings to all on this joyous approach to Ostara! 

As nature awakes from her winter's rest, we here at the Festivities Committee invite one and all to volunteer to assist with preparations for our annual Ostara ball. Ah yes, the exuberance of Spring is most certainly in the air after this rather chill winter, and it is time to spring into action, saying goodbye to the old and make room for the new!

Dust off your thinking caps Ladies and Gentleman, for this year's theme is Great Inventors of Past and Future, and we expect everyone to be present! Yes, we are celebrating the eternal resourcefulness of those of our brethren and sistren who have introduced innovations that have changed our very existences!

During this, our time to celebrate nature's boundless ability to renew herself, we will also be celebrating the unique ability of we humans to create our world.

To make this event a success, I am seeking volunteers in the following areas:

I remind you all that you have only a week more to submit your entry for the Ostara mead-based cocktail competition. Each and every one will be included on the menu for the happy night, and I for one am in great anticipation of the honey-fuelled jollity that is bound to ensue!

For all our Persephones and Demeters, a reminder that the wildflower picking expedition is scheduled for the day before the great event, location to be announced closer to the time.

Yours in anticipation,

From the desk of Nigel Rutherford, Viscount Templemore
Head of the Festivities Committee
Order of the Splendid Chalice (London Chapter)

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Imbolc blessings

Imbolc blessings to you, dear Chalicers!

As winter's chill arms still hold us in her thrall, I plump my cravat in anticipation of the splendid afternoon tea and corn dolly and ornamental broom creation event that Lady Augusta is hosting in her glorious orchid room. I thank the ladies of the newly created Temperance Committee for their tireless efforts in planning what I am sure will be an entirely suitable occasion on which to divine the exit of what has been one of the most bitter winters to date.

We shall be following this with our annual symbolic (and actual) cleaning of the Chapter House, where the children from Lady Augusta's Orphanage for Lost Waifs will follow the cleaning staff about for the day in preparation for their ultimate vocations. I apologise again to all those who are put out by the House's annual closure for the day, however it is done in the spirit of thoroughness and is ultimately in the best interests of our many members who abhor the very sight of children, and most particularly waifs.

For those of you attending the upcoming Lupercalia festivities, which is so kindly being hosted by Miss Finch-Newtley and her inestimable Aunt Philadelphus at their winter retreat in Surrey, I remind you that places are limited, that 'plus one' means just that, and that the RSVP date is done and gone.

It is with sincere regret that these, the first two events that I am overseeing, have been by invitation only, and I am aware that this goes against the spirit of the Club's ethos of veritas unitas caritas, however having now gotten to the bottom of this situation, I shall shortly have matters firmly in hand and soon we shall see vox populi heard!



From the desk of Nigel Rutherford, Viscount Templemore
Head of the Festivities Committee
Order of the Splendid Chalice (London Chapter)