Wednesday 2 January 2013

FAO: Brethren and Sistren of the Splendid Chalice

Dear Chalicers

It is with the most levity and erethismic heart that I do relay the news that I am finished my lentitudinous sojourning and am to return this month to the bosom of Mother England. I arrive off the A.S. 'Soubriquet' at Bristol Aether Port and shall 'ride the steam mare' to London, arriving on a Friday evening in time for drinks at the Club.

Though it has been indeed a goodly longtemps since I last strode the halls of the Club and I look forward to the reassuring creak of the leather wing-chairs by the fireplace in the Bletchley room and the dulcet tones of Wiggins' measured welcome, I am most anticipatory of enjoying a lengthy repast chez Rodders, and find myself increasingly of the opinion that my capture and display of the Rangociferous Blerisinia specimens will cause the stuffed-shirts to choke on their blancmange! How I shall crow when Duskford-Robbins splutters and expectorates upon his silken cravat when beholding the fabulous breeding pair!

Felicitous pridefulness aside, I also wish to convey my admiration for Clarinda F-N on her safe return from the algerine community. Bravo Madame! All shall recall the untimely demise of Simeon Fenton-Barnes in '68 on the Tattersal Expedition, after that unfortunate episode with the mangoes... I fear his aide de campe Bartholomew still hears the screams in his sleep, poor bugger, for his twitchiness at Henley upon the ladies' delighted rejoicing at Oxford's win last year caused the man much gyratory discomfort. I do hope it does not affect his position within the the Grotts-Timbley household.

My apologies, though, for missing the superlative lecture by Meredith at the Motts Finchley Symposium before Yule. Merry my dear, I understand your paper "The Proxemic Revolutions of Unobservable Mating Behaviour in sp. Nymphalis Antiopa" was enthusiastically received and I am in ecstasis that you might give me a private rendition of the delivery after a light dinner at, shall we say, De Witts? I know you are most fond of their lavish and delectable desserts...

To whom it may concern (you know who you are RDR): I look most blackly upon any association or link between myself and that harpy, Prunella Fitz-Hump-Humphrey! If it had not been for that disastrous dinner upon the dirigible 'Pangolin' last Ostara, I should never have met the bally woman and I insist that any bonhomie previously exhibited towards her was utterly out of respect to her father, the Colonel. I swear upon the goddess that if she attempts to attach herself to our party at Ascot this summer I shall be quite acataleptic in my manner.

En gallardise 'til I behold you all again!

Wilbur


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